"Siblings Without Rivalry" can this exist? We have two daughters who are two years apart, and then we have a three year gap and our two boys follow with two years between them as well. We have found that sibling rivalry is present even from a very young age. It is a tricky concept to understand and even trickier to deal with when it causes contention in the family. I firmly believe that one-on-one time with children helps off-set sibling rivalry, and I have found some wonderful advice from Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish who are authors of "Siblings Without Rivalry". Here is a little excerpt: CHILDREN DON'T NEED TO BE TREATED EQUALLY. THEY NEED TO BE TREATED UNIQUELY. Instead of giving equal amounts (Here, now you have just as many grapes as your sister) Give according to individual need (Do you want a few grapes, or a big bunch?) Instead of showing equal love (I love you the same as your sister.) Show the child he or she is loved uniquely (You are the only 'you' in the whole wide world. No one could ever take your place. Instead of giving equal time (After I've spent ten minutes with your sister, I'll spend ten minutes with you) Give time according to need (I know I'm spending a lot of time going over your sister's composition. It's important to her. As soon as I'm finished, I want to hear what's important to you.)
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